How to Make Your Ex Like You Again

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Getting an ex to fall for you again may seem like an incommunicable task, but it is possible. To get your ex to fall for you again, you lot need to call up about what killed the relationship in the first place, then observe ways to put your best self on display. You will likewise take to talk to your ex near your feelings and what you want to do almost them at some point.

1. 1

   Proceed your distance. While you are deciding whether or not you want to get back together with your ex, you should non be in contact with them. Information technology is important to have no contact with your ex to bargain with your emotions, process the breakup, and prepare to motion on. Even if you decide that you lot desire to get back together, you volition notwithstanding need time to yourself and and then volition your ex.^[1]

   Tip: Don't text your ex or reply to text letters from them until you lot feel you lot have had adequate fourth dimension to procedure your breakdown. This may exist hard, only it is for the best.

2. 2

   Determine if your ex is available. Before you lot try to make up one's mind if getting back together with your ex is the correct decision, you may want to find out if your ex is fifty-fifty bachelor. If it has been a while since the two of you broke upwardly, then your ex may exist seeing someone else. In this example, yous may exist better off pursuing relationships with other people instead.

   • Don't attempt to reunite with your ex if they are seeing someone else. Just pursue your own interests, meet other people, and be patient.^[ii]

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3. 3

   Consider why y'all desire your ex back. While the relationship may have been bully, sometimes it really is meliorate to permit a relationship or former partner go. Earlier you showtime trying to get your ex back, consider your reasons for wanting to do so.

   • Some good reasons to get back together include: your timing was off the beginning time you were together, yous needed more time to get over a previous human relationship, or you have developed a new appreciation for what your ex provided for y'all.^[3]
   • Some bad reasons to effort to get back with your ex include: yous're scared of being alone (of course you're alone afterwards a relationship goes due south, but that doesn't mean you should plunge correct dorsum into that human relationship); you miss the familiar (again, there's no issue with this feeling, merely it doesn't hateful y'all should get dorsum together); y'all're jealous of their new relationship (again, a totally allowable feeling, only not a good basis for a fresh human relationship attempt).
   • You should enlist a trusted friend, family member, or therapist, to consider why you want to get back with your ex. They will help you tease out some less-than-stellar reasons and maybe help y'all move on.

4. 4

   Decide if the relationship was healthy and worth reviving. In improver to considering your reasons for wanting to reunite with your ex, y'all should too consider the relationship overall to make up one's mind if it is worth reviving. If you broke upwardly because the relationship was bad for 1 or both of you, then you may want to take some more time to consider whether information technology is worth reviving.

   • For example, if you fought all of the time and did not savor spending time together, and so the human relationship is probably not worth reviving.

5. 5

   Make a list of pros and cons if you are unsure. If you have a lot of mixed feelings about why y'all desire to get back together and if the relationship is worth reviving, try making a list of pros and cons to help y'all decide. Be honest with yourself as yous make this list and don't omit anything because information technology seems minor or insignificant. List everything you can to go a proficient picture of the relationship and make a conclusion.^[four]

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1. 1

   Focus on yourself. Even if you are 100% sure that yous want to get back together with your ex, it is of import to take time to focus on yourself first of all. Use the extra time that you have to improve yourself and getting dorsum with your ex may come up easier as a result. Some things you might do to focus on you include:^[5]

   • Taking up a new hobby.
   • Improving your health with a new practice and diet regimen.
   • Starting a journal to record your thoughts and feelings.
   • Spending more than time with your friends.

2. 2

   Act coincidental. It is important non to seem desperate if you want to get your ex back. Therefore, y'all should non permit them know right abroad that you are interested in getting back together. Doing so may frighten your ex off and ruin your chances of reviving the relationship.^[six]

   Tip: Take plenty of time earlier contacting your ex again. If you bump into your ex by accident, just human action casual. Don't let on that you are interested in getting back together.

3. 3

   Reestablish contact. Send your ex a text message to reestablish contact with them. Texts are ideal because they are more than casual than a telephone call or email. Texts are also less likely to be shared or discussed, so it is a more private way to communicate with your ex.^[7]

   • Keep the bulletin light and casual. Don't say anything intense like, "I can't live without you." Tell your ex virtually something funny that happened to yous or something interesting that reminded you lot of your ex.^[viii]
   • Brand certain that you are sober when you reconnect with your ex. Boozer texts or calls are a recipe for disaster.

4. 4

   Meet up for coffee or luncheon. The best time to meet up with an ex again is during the day because it will seem less serious than a nighttime meeting. Inquire your ex if they would like to see upwards with you for coffee or lunch. This will requite you a take a chance to catch up, break the water ice, and determine if you desire to keep pursuing a reconciliation with your ex or not.^[9]

   • Don't say anything about getting back together during your first meeting. Only have a nice, fun chat together and leave it at that for at present.
   • Brand sure that y'all look fantastic when you first meet up again. Looking your all-time will help you to experience confident and it will make information technology more probable that your ex volition want to get dorsum together with you.

5. 5

   Remind your ex of happy memories. Talking about happy memories is a proficient style to rekindle an old flame. By reminding your ex of happy time that you shared, you will help them to see the good in your human relationship and feel more open to reconciliation.^[10]

   Continue in mind that you lot will accept to talk almost the bad parts of your relationship at some point too, but enjoy talking about happy memories in the beginning.

6. 6

   Put your best assets on display. As you attempt to get your ex to fall for you again, you should consider the things that attracted them to you in the kickoff place and look for ways to showcase them. For example, if your ex was commencement attracted to you considering of your sense of humor, find ways to make them laugh. Or, if your ex always admired your cooking skills, find a way to casually mention something you lot cooked recently.^[eleven]

7. 7

   Be patient. Although it may be hard, you need to be very patient when you beginning start talking to your ex again. If your ex does non answer to your first text, don't keep texting in an effort to get them to answer. Only expect and encounter if they answer. If not, so try over again in a few days.^[12]

8. 8

   Picket for signs of interest. If your ex has not responded to any of your texts and/or seems cold other times that you have talked to them, then information technology is safe to assume that reuniting is not an option right now. Only if your ex seems warm, friendly, and excited to hear from y'all, then you may have a shot.

   Only make sure that you do not set your expectations likewise high even if the signs seem very positive. Information technology is possible that your ex is just existence nice.

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1. i

   Say what is on your mind. At some betoken, you will have to tell your ex how you experience and what you want to practise virtually it. Having this chat may be awkward, but if your ex has non brought up the possibility of getting back together, so you may have to do information technology yourself. Make sure that you indicate a willingness to piece of work on things and a clear interest in getting back together.^[13]

   Try saying something like, "Since we have had some time autonomously, I've really grown and I think that I'd like to give our relationship some other risk. Does that interest you at all?"

2. 2

   Be prepared to talk about what went wrong the showtime time you were together. Information technology is inevitable that you lot and your ex will discuss the reasons why yous broke up in the start place. Your ex may be skeptical of your growth or willingness to change, so y'all may have to reassure them. Make sure that you are prepared to talk about what y'all have done or will do to make certain that the human relationship does not striking the same snags the second fourth dimension around.^[fourteen]

3. 3

   Commit to change. If you say that you are going to piece of work on certain things or commit to modify yourself in some way, exist prepared to actually exercise the things that you promised y'all would do. If you do not follow through, and so the human relationship may before long stop again. Make sure that you and your partner are clear on what you both demand to piece of work on and that yous follow through.^{[15] [16]}

4. 4

   Conceptualize rejection. In some cases, reconciliation is just not possible. If your ex is unwilling to give it another try, respect them for being honest with you and don't pressure or harass them to get back with you. Chances are that you both demand more than time or that the relationship just is not worth reviving.^[17]

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Add New Question

• Question

  How do I go my ex to desire me over again?

  

  Jessica Engle is a relationship coach and psychotherapist based in the San Francisco Bay Expanse. She founded Bay Expanse Dating Coach in 2009, subsequently receiving her Main'southward in Counseling Psychology. Jessica is too a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Registered Drama Therapist with over ten years of feel.

  

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  Expert Answer

  You can't ever brand anyone fall in dearest with yous, whether they're an ex or not. If y'all've broken up with someone, information technology's generally a expert thought to move on. If you do determine to endeavour and rebuild that relationship, you'd but want to be really honest with yourself and know that you're taking a risk with your middle.

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• If you feel every bit you are coming on too stiff, you probably are. Only ease upwardly a little and relax.

• Try non to exist pushy. Make them think yous're non in that location for attention but because you care.

• Brand certain that the other person is ready for a human relationship. They might have cleaved up with y'all due to personal reasons, and sometimes being friends with them is best for both people.

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• Ane thing to keep in listen when trying to get dorsum with an ex - if information technology doesn't work out or if your ex doesn't want y'all back, don't force information technology. Remember that you are worth being with somebody who wants to be with you, and you lot don't have to trail afterwards somebody who doesn't!

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Article Summary 10

Getting your ex dorsum might non be piece of cake, but you can give yourself the best chance by playing information technology cool and finding ways to reconnect with them. To avoid scaring your ex away, act casual if you crash-land into them, and requite it some time before you try to contact them again. Once you become back in impact with them, proceed things lite past chatting about daily events or things that are happening at school or work. If y'all determine to encounter up, ask your ex if they'd similar to take coffee or dejeuner, which seems less serious than evening plans. During your time together, show off your best qualities, like your quirky sense of sense of humor or your empathy, to remind your ex why they savage for you to brainstorm with. To learn how to talk to your ex well-nigh getting back together, keep reading!

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